Sesame Street - Somebody Come and Play (original)

Aahhh...brings back the memories!

The Pain of Shopping

I have determined that there is a direct correlation between how much men like to oogle models of a certain piece of apparel and the humiliation associated with buying that item for most American women.

Take swmsuits, for example. An entire issue of Sports Illustrated is devoted to them. Not sure when modeling swimsuits became a sport, but it's been SI's #1 selling issue for decades. Yet swimsuits rank well above jeans as one of the purchases women dread having to make.

Does this swimsuit make my ass look big?

Honey, your ass IS big, the swimsuit just lets everyone see just how big it is.


Next on the list: bras. Those Victoria's Secret commercials make bras look so sexy, so mysterious, so magical in the way they make little tiny model size A boobs look like something so much more.

Yeah. Uh huh.

Take, for example, my shopping goal of this weekend: find a bra that fits under a special occasion dress I bought for an upcoming client event. The event is black tie -- not just any dress will do, yet it's still a work occasion, so plunging necklines and high hemlines just won't do. I found a phenomenal dress at a consignment store in my neighborhood -- a measly $29 for the dress which fits me perfectly and is a style I love. Only problem is the sheer material that makes the "straps" of the dress, requiring a strapless bra.

No problem, right? After all, I'm not looking for a bra that accommodates a plunging neckline, a plunging back, no criss cross applesauce needed, just strapless. I shouldn't even have to go to Victoria's Secret for this one, I should be able to get one at JCPenney's at their 30% off sale.

And to make things a little more interesting, Lindsey accompanied me. I'm not sure if she's scarred for life after the experience, she certainly has a new appreciation for "boobies," though, and spent many minutes gazing at the lingerie models and fingering the pretty panties on the tables.

JCPenney's was a bust, no pun intended. Sure they've got strapless bras, on sale, mind you, $17.99! Sweet. Okay, looking for my size...looking for my size...yup, still looking for my size...going to the women's section...right cup size, wrong band width....looking for my size....aaaannd we're done. Couldn't even find one to TRY ON.

Wow, I could do this all day but as delicious as that sounds, I'd rather not. So I head straight to Victoria's Secret where I know they'll have my size but I will also drop more money than the dress cost.

I pick up one strapless bra and one convertible bra. What the hell does that mean? you ask. Can you DRIVE them around? No, it means that if I choose not to wear it as a strapless bra it's got straps I can put on and wear it like a normal bra. Prices? $42 for the one style and $53 for the other.

I try the first one on -- not too bad, but it's scrunching my boobs together like pages in a book. But at least you can't see any part of the bra through the sheer of the dress.

I should've just said "done deal" and left. But no, I wanted to see if I could get something else that wouldn't be quite as smothering. And I was given the busiest and most memory-impaired fitting person to work with. I ring the buzzer inside the dressing room, a nice little feature of VS so you don't have to leave your dressing room and flash everyone.

Employee: Hi, do you need help?

Me: Yes, I'm looking for a strapless bra to go under this dress, I tried this one on but want some other options.

E: Okay, what size?

I tell her my size.
Pause. Long pause. Awkward pause.

E: Okay, let me see what I can get for you.

Several minutes later she hands through the door two regular bras with straps, but my size.

Me (handing bras back): Uh, these have straps.

E: Oh, oops! Just a minute.

Several minutes later, a strange brown and a tan bra are thrust through the door.

E: Here you go.

Me: Uh....these are A cups.

E: Oops, sorry those are for someone else. Here are the ones for you.

I go to try them on, only to find they are ONE cup size too small. Hmmm....is she perhaps in her professional opinion trying to tell me she thinks I'm trying on bras too big, in some ridiculous show of big boobism? So I try one on -- yep, even smaller, definitely spilling out the top. NOT my size. I ring the buzzer again.

Me: These aren't the right size. Forget it, can you just give me back the first one I tried on? I believe you took it.

E: Oh, sorry, let me look for it. Hmmm...I'm not sure where I put it.

Me: Forget it, I'll just go get it myself.

I did finally try on some other styles -- some had material sticking out the sides, others looked like wings with material floating out of the top. Really, people? This shouldn't be this hard!

Lindsey was having fun checking out the bras -- some of the ones I tried on even had little pockets where pouches of water had been placed to help "push up" your breasts, she found those fascinating. And seriously people, what size do you need to be before people STOP thinking your boobs need to look even bigger? She tried a bra on and strutted around pretending she had boobies. Eventually she entertained herself with pretending to sleep on the chaise lounge just outside the fitting rooms.

I ended up with the original style that I had tried on, which I had to go get myself. Cost, you ask?

$42, or a full 44% more than the dress cost.

At least I'll be wearing the bra more than once, which is more than I can say for the dress.

Next shopping adventure: shoes to match. Aarrrgh!

Kid Rock and Lynyrd Skynyrd: All Summer Long/Sweet Home

I know the song is overrated, but I remember seeing Lynyrd Skynyrd the summer of 1989 at Alpine Valley, WI and rocking out to "Sweet Home Alabama" while the high Harley bikers in front of us stumbled around in their attempt to dance.

For lots of years artists were singing songs about the "good ol days" for times long before I grew up. (Think Bryan Adams "Summer of '69"). It's strange to think that I'm old enough that people are singing songs reminiscent of when I grew up now.

Height Predictor

Click on the title of this posting to go to the ParentCenter height calculator.

You put in your child's age to the closest half-year, current height and weight, and then the height of the parents.

Out spits the estimated height of your child at age 18, with a margin of error, depending on the age of your child.

According to this calculator, Lindsey will be 5'4", while Marissa, the YOUNGER sister, will be 5'9".

These have not changed for either kid the last few times I've put them in, outside of Marissa's height being estimated as taller. Lindsey has been consistently predicted at 5'4", a whole 2 inches shorter than I am.

Check back in about 15 years and I'll let you know!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Isn't it odd when you hear your kids say things that you say all the time? It just sounds different coming from their little voices.

The other day Lindsey was talking about a bee project that they made at kindergarten that she really enjoyed doing. She described gluing on the little wax paper wings, and then she said, "How cool is that?!"

I have confirmation from my co-workers and spouse -- those words leave my mouth several times a day.

Mother Sentenced

I don't know why I read these things when I see the headlines pop up -- it's like staring at a car wreck as you pass by.

Good for the judge for throwing the book at her. I cannot imagine anyone who would even THINK of putting their month-old baby in a microwave, even in an altered state of mind.

The last quote of the story:

Rion (the defending attorney) said Arnold loved her baby "with all of her heart and more" and regrets drinking the night of her baby's death to the point of not remembering what happened.

"We have a mother who has lost her own daughter," Rion said. "That will plague her and follow her like a shadow for the rest of her life and into the next." (Jenny's ed: The defending attorney will fight for her life here on earth, but knows that ultimately her soul is going to hell.)

Prosecutor David Franceschelli told Wiseman that Arnold has shown no genuine remorse.
"The only remorse here is she got caught," Franceschelli said.

Last Post of the Day: A Request for Prayers

Okay, after this I'm going to bed.

If you are reading this, I ask for you to send your prayers and good thoughts to the Gilles family of my hometown in Wisconsin. Many of you know (and many don't) that they lost their youngest son to cancer at the young age of 21. Paul died 16 years ago this September 29th -- he was the youngest of six in a remarkable family and was very dear to me.

One of their remaining five children, their son Andy, is struggling with a rare disorder which has weakened his kidneys and liver. It requires a stem cell transplant to fight it, which is administered after a very powerful dose of chemotherapy to kill off the offending cells, along with many of his own healthy cells in the process.

Andy's stem cell transplant is scheduled for tomorrow, Sept 5th. He will be in the hospital for a month after, and then will require to be within 5 minutes of the hospital for 60 days after that. His immune system will be severely compromised and this time period will be extremely difficult for him and his support network.

I spoke with Andy's mother today -- she said that her other son's death of 16 years ago is crashing back in her life right now; it is all so familiar, even though Andy does not have cancer. I am praying that he has a very different outcome.

I am not a very religious person (okay, try not at all), but I do believe in the power of prayer and of positive energy, so please send some his way.

Video proof

Can you tell I'm catching up on my photos and videos?

Earlier I had a posting about Marissa telling us "I like you a lot!" Yeah, it sounds kinda cute, but I now have video proof that it's in the delivery and not the words that makes it endearing. (Kind of like Obama.)

We had obviously been asking her to say this for some time before I finally got it on video, so it's not quite her same delivery, but pretty close.

State Fair Photos

Okay, now that I can upload photos to my computer again, I've got some catching up to do!

The week before school started we took the girls to the State Fair, our annual mecca. My first posting on this blog was for the state fair two years ago -- hard to believe!

So here are some goodies from the day:

Marissa finally got into the rides this year -- once again, the difference between Marissa and Lindsey was made apparent. We would watch Lindsey on a ride and see her yelling and pointing. She would see a ride from her high up vantage point and be yelling about the next ride she wanted to go on. The minute she was off, she was leading us by the hand to the next ride.

Marissa, on the other hand, just wanted to keep going on the same rides over and over. She was barely off and would say, "I want to do that aGAIN!" and we would either stay on and hand over more tickets, or get back in line and do the ride again. The bumper boats were her favorite ride -- she went on them three times.

She also had a knack of sticking out her tongue while on rides, shown here:

And occasionally we would get the two girls to SHARE a ride...nicely, please:

And then, of course, there were the interesting things that we saw.

Really? That's appetizing? Check out the size of the guys headed toward this food booth.

And since everything else at the state fair is on a stick, why not the landscaping? Sure, why the hell not? It's a two-ton boulder, what could possibly go wrong by putting those up on sticks and having people sit in front of them?

And in case you didn't catch the fact that these boulders were supposed to look like they were on sticks, check out the sign on the left that tells you so.

Whew! Good thing, because if you hadn't let people know you were poking fun at the state fair, you'd see people in the 'burbs trying to talk some landscaper into doing this for them. "It's the latest thing, I swear! I saw it at the state fair landscape building!"

First Day of Kindergarten!

Today was Lindsey's first day of kindergarten. I think it went well for Lindsey, not so hot for Marissa. Marissa's had a bit more difficult of a transition to Kindercare; she's missing those nice long naps she needs and was getting this summer! The crankiness factor is going up and up every day of the week. Today while we were taking photos of Lindsey (and trying to get ones of Marissa too) all she did was walk around and say "no no no no no" to everything. So Marissa was crying and throwing crackers on the floor as I walked out the door at KinderCare. (Hard to believe, isn't it? Look at how cute she is.)

Lindsey, on the other hand, was incredibly excited, couldn't wait to go! She forgot to eat, brush her teeth and hair, and we had to remind her to do those things before we went. We dropped of Marissa first, then took Lindsey to the Mpls KIDS program, where one of her friends was already there. She asked Wayne to sit down next ot her for a while while she played, then after a few minutes he and I left. I had to go back home and get a little bracelet that the teacher had asked her to wear on her first day that we had forgotten, and when I brought it back her friends Alex and Emma were already there. She and Emma were busy playing with a little pink house, so she turned around, took the bracelet from me, said, "Oh, thank you, Mommy! Bye!" and that was it.

Lindsey's actual kindergarten day is three hours long. She then gets a little recess and eats lunch at 1 pm. Thank goodness she'll also get a breakfast option at Mpls KIDS, because that's a late lunch for her! Then she'll spend the afternoon back at Mpls KIDS until we pick her up.

I think Lindsey is going to have a really good day today; Marissa, well, depends on the kind of nap she gets.

Marissa's newest little saying

Marissa has always entertained us with her little antics and sayings. It's not what she says, it's how she says them that's so funny, so it's hard to repeat for others.

But she's got a new one now she's been using for about a week that warms my heart.

"Know what, Mommy?" she says.

"What honey," I'll say.

"I like you a lot," she'll say.

I like to hear that one as many times as she wants to say it!

Recent Conversation with Lindsey

While we do our best around our house to keep the language child-friendly, every once in a while a choice word flies out (by BOTH parents, thank you), which inevitably gets "test driven" by an off spring.

So the other day Lindsey attempted to use the word "dammit." She mumbled an entire sentence under her breath. The conversation was eerily similar to ones I've had with my mother when I was the young one:

Me: “What did you just say?”

Lindsey: “What?”

Me: “Repeat what you just said.”

Lindsey: “What part that I said?”

Me: “Did you just say a bad word?”

Lindsey: “What bad word did you think I said?”

Me: “I’m not going to repeat it.”

Lindsey: “Then no, I didn’t.”

She’s smart for five, isn’t she? Little shit…

Student Driving

Yesterday as I was driving in to work I saw a sorry sight. The photo here is not it, but is a good representation of what may have happened had I watched this person much longer.

A car with "STUDENT DRIVER" plastered all over it (roof top sign, doors and trunk) on the on-ramp, trying to merge into bumper-to-bumper traffic on a major artery in the Twin Cities. The person driving was clearly having issues trying to look for traffic behind while driving the car straight and not losing too much speed. They were at an almost complete stop, making merging nearly impossible and backing up everyone on the merge ramp behind the car.

At least everyone in the vicinity knows it's a student driver and hopefully cuts him or her a little slack. And it got me to thinking of my relatives who live in Tracy, MN, population 2,000, who go to other towns to take their driver's test where there are NO traffic lights, no traffic per se, except for the occasional tractor. Those who figure that backing in and out over and over again to parallel park is "good enough." (You know who you are!)

I am pretty sure they would have flunked the test in the Twin Cities. Then again, they are smart enough to not even try to take the test here!

Elizabeth's last day!

Today was Elizabeth's last day for the summer watching the girls. We will miss seeing her every day!

She wanted to make today extra special, so she arranged to take the girls on a boat ride on the St. Croix River. They even got free candy from the vendor on the boat because they were "so cute."

And as he said that, Elizabeth looked over at Marissa to find her finger knuckle deep in her nostril.

Cute, for sure!

Another Marissa Story

Today Elizabeth came up from downstairs to find Marissa with a strange look on her face, like she was puzzled and hurt, while wiping her hand on her shorts. She said to Elizabeth, "I put my finger in the hole."

Elizabeth was concerned that she'd stuck her finger in an outlet. She asked, "Which hole?" Marissa pointed in the general direction of the other room. "There!" she said, as if that was perfectly clear.

Elizabeth said, "You show me."

Marissa marches over to Dax, turns him around and points to his butthole. "There!" Marissa says. "It was ishy."

And it was immediately followed with a 10-minute hand washing. Is there nothing this child won't explore?? I guess we never thought to tell her NOT to put her finger in the dog's butt...

NOTE: (8/20/08) I found out from Marissa this morning that she stuck her finger in her OWN hole. Perhaps she was just demonstrating on Dax what hole she meant. Maybe that's a little better; at least it was her own poop and she hadn't molested the poor dog.

Marissa, Destroyer of Insects

Finally have a good story to share, this one from Elizabeth.

Marissa is sometimes more boyish in her play, demonstrated by her love of tormenting bugs. She will pick up ants with her hands, squish them between her fingers, stomp on them at will, etc.

The other day she was "playing" with an ant and turned to say something to Elizabeth. By the time she turned back the ant had crawled into a crack and disappeared.

"Where'd he go?" she asked.

Elizabeth said, "He crawled into the crack."

Marissa looked at Elizabeth and very seriously said, "He is very lucky."

Last week of summer

This feels like the last week of summer for us, because it's the last week that Elizabeth is watching our girls at our home. She goes back to school next week, which means our kids go to KinderCare next week, then Lindsey starts kindergarten the following week.

I in particular have been so spoiled by having Elizabeth here -- no big rush to get two kids dressed and out in the morning, no having to convince kids that they WANT to go to KinderCare, just stay at home and have someone come to us! I'll have to get up earlier again...yawn...

The good news is that we've decided to split up our drop offs. So I've flexed my hours at work back by half an hour and will be responsible for drop off in the morning, and Wayne will do the pick up at night. That'll help shorten their day a little bit so they don't need to be in their program 10 hours a day.

Lindsey is excited for kindergarten and has completed her "back to school" shopping. I asked her if she needed a new outfit for her first day, and she said no, she's got enough clothes! Okay...saves US some money, and she's totally right. I don't know how both the girls' drawers got so full of summer clothing, I didn't feel like we bought a lot for them. I think that Lindsey simply continued to fit into clothing she was wearing last summer; we didn't think she would, so we bought her some new and she got some as gifts. Marissa got Lindsey's hand-me-downs and also got gifts as well, so her drawers are really stuffed full of summer clothing. Unlike Lindsey, I suspect much of it won't fit her next summer, she continues to grow like a weed!

Wish I had some new funny stories. We have continued to be entertained by the peanuts but nothing I can think of now. My software that I use to download photos from my camera is on the fritz right now too, so no new photos. Sigh...guess I'm having a blogger's block.

Momzillas

FYI, there's a book that didn't even hit my "I am currently reading" posting on the side there. It is called "Momzillas" and I devoured it so quickly I didn't get a chance to post it on my blog.

Written by an Upper East Side mom of three, it's a novel that I suspect, if I knew the author personally, I would be able to understand which of her so-called "friends" she was basing her characters on.

It was an entertaining read, highly recommend it for any mom. Non-moms might not find it so funny, and if you don't know NYC very well, it might not make as much sense. (At one point the main character is mocked for buying a house east of 3rd Ave...even though it's still Upper East Side. Shocking!). I read it in about 4 hours.

Otherwise I've been extraordinarily tired and still trying to catch up on sleep after what turned into a four day business trip this past week. My flight back on Thursday night was canceled due to weather, and I got to spend two nights in a row sleeping on a 3-inch thick mattress on a roll-away cot, because our room reservations got hosed up.

So I'll have to write more another time...after my nap.

Blog subscription

I just added that sweet little feature that lets people "subscribe" to my blog. This allows them to see on their personal Google, Yahoo, or other such account page when I post to my blog.

My question is this:

If I subscribe to my own blog on my Yahoo homepage, does that make me a narcissist or a peeping Tom? Or just weird?...because I think I'm already that.

Lindsey's Sleeping Buddy

Many kids like to curl up with stuffed animals, blankets, little pillows, etc, when they go to bed.

Lindsey has taken to having our Boston terrier, Dax, sleep with her at night.

I encourage it actually, I think it's really cute, and Dax really likes sleeping with people so it works out pretty well.

However, every once in a while Dax gets kicked out of her room for being a bit too stinky. He (and Bostons in general, in case you're thinking about getting one), are known for their touchy digestive systems, which means that any time he eats anything out of his normal diet he gets the stinkiest farts you've ever smelled.

So last night she asks to have Dax sleep with her and immediately falls asleep with her on one pillow and him on the other. Both of them are sleeping on their side and Lindsey has strategically positioned a small baby blanket and pillow between herself and Dax's butt, which is now directly positioned in front of her face.

Smart girl.