Arkansa Edition

Terry and Dad together; a good evening on the patio.

My dad has not been in the best of health for some time. He is living with stage IV colon cancer,  with all the trials and tribulations that come along with that condition. He has been on a chemotherapy regimen for about a year, which doctors tell him should keep the tumors from growing and spreading, if he can withstand the side effects. As soon as the chemo stops working or his quality of life is such that he decides not to continue treatment, the cancer will probably continue to spread and grow.

This is a tough diagnosis to take. Quality of life has been less than ideal, not just for Dad but for my stepmom, who has been thrust into the role of primary caretaker.

I have not been to Arkansas to see Dad for some time, not to say that I haven't seen him or don't talk with him, but he came to Minnesota twice last year. He understands that my life is busy and it's hard to get away.

But at some point "busy" becomes "bullshit," and the people who are really important in your life must come to the surface. On some level I've been holding off on visiting, waiting for him to have the energy to have company. I finally came to the realization that I need to make the trip.

Kristi and I planned a trip over Labor Day weekend, flying from Minneapolis to St. Louis, then taking a 10-seater directly to Jonesboro, Arkansas.

We ain't in Minnesota anymore. A drive-through liquor store. They'll hand you a cup with ice with your vodka. No lie.

We had ourselves a time. There was plenty of "gabooning," as my grandfather Vern used to say (his term for visiting). The weather was divine, with plenty of opportunity to sit on the porch in a nice breeze, taking in the peace and quiet while three white dogs played the part of immovable porch rugs. Hummingbirds flitted from the feeder to trees; crickets and other insects provided the background music to their wings.

The largest and most immovable of all the white dogs, Jack.

Can you find all three?

We ate some good southern fare, and I made authentic Minnesota Wild Rice Soup, with wild rice smuggled from Minnesota. (Apparently bags of wild rice look like weed when viewed through a security x-ray machine, and warrant extra screening.) My nephew Sam decided it looked like bird suet, and leftover soup the rest of the weekend was donned "liquid suet."

I spent time with family members that Kristi has gotten to know so well through her many visits. We had a feast of pulled pork, barbecued ribs and smoked chicken.

Kristi and I helped with chores that escape doing in the midst of caring for someone else. We made trips to the store for victuals and supplies, vacuumed, helped organize the week's pills, cooked, and cleaned dishes, usually accompanied by laughter and banter.

Terry gives me a tour of the yard, including a fig tree.

By the end of three days Kristi and I were ready to get back to the land of North, and I think Dad and Terry were ready for us to leave. They themselves had to travel to Nashville the next day. What is it they say about fish and company?

Memories were made, and that's all that matters.

Four States South

On our way to my dad's place I realized I have never crossed the Minnesota border into Iowa.

Hard to believe, isn't it?

Guess what -- it looks a lot like Minnesota. We drove through Mason City, Waterloo, Keokuk and then to Missouri. We stayed over in Hannibal, Missouri, boyhood home of one of my favorite American authors, Mark Twain.

After two days of driving we reached our destination -- a little log cabin in Paragould, Arkansas.

It was such a change of pace for us -- so peaceful and quiet. I loved hearing the birds in the morning, the crickets in the evening. The cabin was always filled with a woodsy scent, mingled with coffee and cooking smells.

My dad and stepmom were such gracious hosts. My stepmom stocked the trailer where we stayed with art projects, crayons and paper for the girls, and we enjoyed many home-cooked meals.

We went to the nature center in Jonesboro one day, and learned about Crowley's Ridge, a geological area covering miles of Missouri and Arkansas. We saw snakes in terariums and in the wild, and the girls got to try their hand at duck and goose calls.

The girls played with the dogs. They explored the property with my dad, which was so sweet to see. They rode around the property on Turfy, a golf cart Dad and Terry own, and swung in the hammock.

On our last day the girls took individual trips in to town with one of the grandparents, during which time they were utterly spoiled and got just about anything they asked for. (Thank goodness Terry knows where the Dollar General store is.)

Best of all, our kids got to know their grandparents. Lindsey chatted her grandpa's ear off one day, and Marissa naturally gravitated to Terry, asking her about her favorite color, holiday, hobbies, etc.

It was a visit well worth the drive. We'll be doing it again, I'm sure.

Arkansas Continued

This photo is compliments of Lindsey -- she did a pretty good job, eh? And there's that sweatshirt that I wore all weekend.



And here's one I took of Lindsey and her Grandpa. She really got to know him well on this trip, and I think the one-on-one time was great. She also spent a lot of time sitting on his lap, looking at photographs on the computer. He showed her pictures of the various dogs that had lived there, of the ice storm that came through in February, and she would ask questions about things, especially about the storm. (Of course about the storm.)


Speaking of storms...


The first night we were there we were treated to a good Midwestern thunder storm. We had gone to bed Thursday night only to be woken by the sound of heavy rain on the metal roof of the trailer. The wind was quite strong and I got up and watched the trees swaying in the wind. The lightning was so constant it was nearly daylight outside, followed by booming thunder. After a while I heard the rain change over to hail, probably small as it was relatively quiet...for hail. With Lindsey's phobia of storms, I was concerned about her waking up, being in a strange place with a loud, booming storm going on around her. Luckily, she never awoke, much to my surprise.

The next morning we told her that there had been a pretty big storm through, she couldn't believe it because she hadn't heard a single bit of it. I also awoke to news of a fatal tornado somewhere in Arkansas. I didn't know enough about neighboring towns but found out it was quite a ways from us. Still, it made me wonder what would've happened had there been a tornado coming through our area, with us staying in the guest house, i.e. trailer.


The entire visit Lindsey wasn't getting to bed on time, yet was awakening at around her same time. By Easter Sunday this cumulative lack of sleep came out by way of behavior. So she refused to come to the table for Easter dinner, and when she did finally come she squirmed in her seat and refused to eat. I think I finally got her to eat a little pasta or something, then a little before 7:00 we headed over to the trailer to get her to go to sleep. She clearly was sleep deprived based on her behavior.


We wrestled about going to bed for a while, then she finally settled in for some reading. So I invited dad over and we finally got a chance to visit. I love talking with my dad, even though we are clearly on opposite sides of the fence. (Just read his blog on his challenges as the -- ahem -- Republican party re-invents itself.) We had a great visit, talking long after I should've gone to bed to take advantage of Lindsey finally sleeping.


The next day was our last, and we packed up and left for the drive to Memphis. All in all, it was a great visit, and we clearly need to get there more frequently...maybe next time when it's a little warmer and less wet.

Return to Arkansas

I mean by way of subject matter, not that we're hopping a plane today or anything...

I did a pretty good job of packing for Arkansas for Lindsey and I, though I did expect the weather to be a little warmer. So the shorts/capri pants that I had packed stayed packed, and my sweatshirt got worn three days in a row, but at least it made for consistency in pictures over the weekend, right?

Speaking of pictures, that was the one thing I didn't pack -- well, I mean, I packed the camera, but the battery was left in the charger on the kitchen countertop. So I was left with mobile pics from my Blackberry until I got to my dad's, when I immediately confiscated his camera for the weekend. Because after all, if he'd had the camera, we would have pictures of the trees, the cabin, the flowers, but not the people. He did sneak one of those in during the weekend, so let's just get that one out of the way right away, shall we?

This is the view from the Jonesboro nature center. It's sponsored and staffed by the Arkansas Fish & Game Commission, so the subject matter had more to do with hunting than nature, but I think Lindsey missed that little twist on the subject matter.

The nature center was one of the highlights of the weekend, especially since it was the one day that was sunny, though the breeze was still brisk. We had a good time checking out the displays; Lindsey played in the little theatre (per previous post) and ultimately we had a very good time. Though it was funny driving over there -- Lindsey is clearly used to being in a dense metropolitan center, because we had to stop during the 25 minute drive there for "snacks" because the drive felt really long to her, apparently. And since I had forgotten my wallet back at the house, "snacks" were compliments of my dad. (I know I know, my husband tells me I would forget my head if it weren't attached to my neck.)

Speaking of forgetting things...

On Friday night I offered to make chicken enchiladas, a recipe I'd gotten off the internet that Wayne and I had been enjoying of late. So Friday afternoon we headed to the grocery store for the ingredients, one of which is 2 C of cottage cheese. So we picked up a 16 oz container of cottage cheese.

When it came time to use the cottage cheese in the recipe, I began measuring out the 16 oz into 1C measuring cups...because apparently in my mind 16 oz and 2 cups are not related. Sure enough, 16 oz is indeed 2 cups, so I feel better for having confirmed that, and my dad feels better for having something else to tease me about. (Hey, at least I didn't make flubber out of eggs on my visit, Kristi!)

Let's see...other pictures...This was another highlight of the weekend that Lindsey loved, the "chore" of filling the various birdfeeders. My dad would hold her up while she filled the feeders. One evening we set out corn and a few hours later were rewarded with the site of two deer coming out to munch on the corn. (No pics of that since it was near twilight.)

We also dyed Easter eggs on Saturday, which took all of like 10 minutes. Seems like so much prep time and/or big deal is made of dying Easter eggs, when ultimately it took longer to set up than to dye 10 eggs. Terry was able to use some of the eggs in a potato salad that we ate on Easter, which was divine, by the way, yum!!!

There was more, much more, but I have to save that for another post, or risk taking a lunch afternoon instead of a lunch hour.