Nine Grams

Marissa joined me in grocery shopping the other day. At this age, shopping with one of the girls is fun. We get silly, we look at foods we have no idea what they are, and we laugh.

I nearly bought this cereal, even though I knew no one would eat it, just because Marissa and I had a good laugh over it.

Marissa will pretends or actually sneak food into the cart that she knows I don't allow in the house, then run-walk down the aisle with the cart so I can't see what she put in it.

This sneaking of food into the cart tends to happen most in the cereal aisle. I thought back to when Lindsey and I did our sugar-free challenge and how difficult it was to find cereals with no sugar in them. I picked a random number and told Marissa she couldn't buy a cereal that had more than 9 grams of sugar. In the meantime, I was also scanning for a new gluten-free cereal for Lindsey to try.

I had no idea how challenging this would be.

Marissa brought me the "Dory" cereal which had 11 grams of sugar per serving, only two grams more than my limit. Surely only 2 games doesn't make a difference, right? She held her hand over the corner with the picture of the cereal while she asked for it, so of course I said she couldn't have it. The picture was of a cereal with marshmallows in it -- really, only 11 grams? I'd been reading ingredients lists of 17 grams, 23 grams and more. If that's 11 grams, how sweet and sugary are those other ones?

I decided to start looking at the "healthy" cereals vs the ones that I would assume would be more sugary.

First I checked out the Chex cereal choices. I looked at the GF "fruit and oats" variety, then happened to see the chocolate Chex next to it.

Guess which one had more sugar? Yep, the Fruit & Oats one.

She asked for the S'Mores cereal. Lucky Charms (which makes both girls crazy). Choc-O something-or-other. No. No. Nope.

Finally we got tired of studying cereals and saying "no" and went for a long-standing favorite in our house, Cracklin' Oat Bran.

It wasn't until we brought it home that I saw what the sugar content was -- 17 grams per serving. Guess we're crossing that one off our list, too.

"Spring" Fashion

At this time of year I chide my children to never, ever lose their mittens.

Why? you ask.

Because if they did, I couldn't go to a store and buy them a new pair. Yes, it's February in Minnesota. Yes, we are still getting snow every other day. But apparently the retailers have decided that it's time to plan for spring. The children's section of Target is filled with shorts, t-shirts and, of all things, swimsuits.

Huh??

One day last week the following two catalogs arrived in our mailbox:

I flipped through them both quickly, admiring the fashions and how amazing they looked on their models.

And then I threw both of them in the recycling.  Because this is what it looks outside:

The very thought of putting on the clothes in these catalogs makes me shiver. I wonder how quickly I would get frostbite on my legs if I wore shorts, or how I would keep the snow out of the toes of my sandals if I tried to venture outside in them.

I want to curl up in a ball under my down comforter when I see pictures like this.

I understand that in other parts of the country it is warming up. My dad informed me the other day that they are starting to see 70 degrees in Arkansas, and hiacynth and daffodils are starting to pop through the earth. But when you live in warmer climates like that, 70 is not warm -- 90 is. So even in his household they are donning long pants and sweatshirts until it warms up more.

So I will do this year like I do every year. I will wait until it actually feels warm outside to get my warm weather shopping done. And that works well for me, because by then everything's on clearance and I can buy it for the prices I want to pay anyway.

Until then, you'll find me hibernating in my bed, under a few layers of blankets and down. See you in spring!

Getting ourselves dressed

 I have a friend named Julie who always looks very stylish (she's second from the left, in case you're wondering). Every time I see her I tell her how put together she looks, and each time she gives the credit to this guy named Anthony, her personal shopper at J Crew. He helps her put together pieces that she would've never put together on her own and picks out accessories to pull it all together. She's been shopping there for 5 years and he knows every piece that's in her closet, so he knows what pieces will go with things she already owns. He even stopped her from buying a third gray cardigan after reminding her that she already owned two.

A group of us got tired of hearing about this Anthony without meeting him, so we asked Julie to hook us up. So this past Sunday eight of us arrived at J Crew at closing time to find this sign on the door:

We had the store to ourselves for 2 hours after closing time, with Anthony helping us with our style issues.

One of us was looking for an outfit appropriate for a gala but something that could be used on other occasions.

One of us was looking for pieces that could go from office to casual weekend wear with just a couple of switches.

I myself was looking for help with my boring long-sleeved t-shirt that I use under nearly every blazer and sweater I wear to work. Bor-ring. I even wore one to the appointment so he could see how boring it was.

He surprised us by putting some of the ladies in skinny jeans...and they looked surprisingly good! I would've never imagined that on women who have hips. (Yes, we have hips.)

Anthony managed to keep options in front of all of us and to our collective amazement, kept all of us straight. (Did I mention that 7 of the 8 people at this personal shopping party have names starting with "J"?) He could tell you what worked, what didn't, and would put together pieces that some of us would have never put together.

Best of all, we all got an additional 20 percent discount on our purchases, even clearance items. We all walked out of there with J Crew bags and smiles.


Janel, Julie, Gianna, Janey, Jenny, Jennifer and Anthony

I have never shopped at J Crew before - whenever I looked in the window the clothes seemed so basic and plain to me. But upon closer look they stock nicely constructed basics that you can invest in, i.e. blazers, skirts and pants, with more interesting shirts and accent pieces to put together an outfit.

I will definitely be back and will put Anthony's infamous memory to the test to see if he remembers me or my particular style challenge. And hopefully we can have another personal shopping party - it was so much fun!

The Pain of Shopping

I have determined that there is a direct correlation between how much men like to oogle models of a certain piece of apparel and the humiliation associated with buying that item for most American women.

Take swmsuits, for example. An entire issue of Sports Illustrated is devoted to them. Not sure when modeling swimsuits became a sport, but it's been SI's #1 selling issue for decades. Yet swimsuits rank well above jeans as one of the purchases women dread having to make.

Does this swimsuit make my ass look big?

Honey, your ass IS big, the swimsuit just lets everyone see just how big it is.


Next on the list: bras. Those Victoria's Secret commercials make bras look so sexy, so mysterious, so magical in the way they make little tiny model size A boobs look like something so much more.

Yeah. Uh huh.

Take, for example, my shopping goal of this weekend: find a bra that fits under a special occasion dress I bought for an upcoming client event. The event is black tie -- not just any dress will do, yet it's still a work occasion, so plunging necklines and high hemlines just won't do. I found a phenomenal dress at a consignment store in my neighborhood -- a measly $29 for the dress which fits me perfectly and is a style I love. Only problem is the sheer material that makes the "straps" of the dress, requiring a strapless bra.

No problem, right? After all, I'm not looking for a bra that accommodates a plunging neckline, a plunging back, no criss cross applesauce needed, just strapless. I shouldn't even have to go to Victoria's Secret for this one, I should be able to get one at JCPenney's at their 30% off sale.

And to make things a little more interesting, Lindsey accompanied me. I'm not sure if she's scarred for life after the experience, she certainly has a new appreciation for "boobies," though, and spent many minutes gazing at the lingerie models and fingering the pretty panties on the tables.

JCPenney's was a bust, no pun intended. Sure they've got strapless bras, on sale, mind you, $17.99! Sweet. Okay, looking for my size...looking for my size...yup, still looking for my size...going to the women's section...right cup size, wrong band width....looking for my size....aaaannd we're done. Couldn't even find one to TRY ON.

Wow, I could do this all day but as delicious as that sounds, I'd rather not. So I head straight to Victoria's Secret where I know they'll have my size but I will also drop more money than the dress cost.

I pick up one strapless bra and one convertible bra. What the hell does that mean? you ask. Can you DRIVE them around? No, it means that if I choose not to wear it as a strapless bra it's got straps I can put on and wear it like a normal bra. Prices? $42 for the one style and $53 for the other.

I try the first one on -- not too bad, but it's scrunching my boobs together like pages in a book. But at least you can't see any part of the bra through the sheer of the dress.

I should've just said "done deal" and left. But no, I wanted to see if I could get something else that wouldn't be quite as smothering. And I was given the busiest and most memory-impaired fitting person to work with. I ring the buzzer inside the dressing room, a nice little feature of VS so you don't have to leave your dressing room and flash everyone.

Employee: Hi, do you need help?

Me: Yes, I'm looking for a strapless bra to go under this dress, I tried this one on but want some other options.

E: Okay, what size?

I tell her my size.
Pause. Long pause. Awkward pause.

E: Okay, let me see what I can get for you.

Several minutes later she hands through the door two regular bras with straps, but my size.

Me (handing bras back): Uh, these have straps.

E: Oh, oops! Just a minute.

Several minutes later, a strange brown and a tan bra are thrust through the door.

E: Here you go.

Me: Uh....these are A cups.

E: Oops, sorry those are for someone else. Here are the ones for you.

I go to try them on, only to find they are ONE cup size too small. Hmmm....is she perhaps in her professional opinion trying to tell me she thinks I'm trying on bras too big, in some ridiculous show of big boobism? So I try one on -- yep, even smaller, definitely spilling out the top. NOT my size. I ring the buzzer again.

Me: These aren't the right size. Forget it, can you just give me back the first one I tried on? I believe you took it.

E: Oh, sorry, let me look for it. Hmmm...I'm not sure where I put it.

Me: Forget it, I'll just go get it myself.

I did finally try on some other styles -- some had material sticking out the sides, others looked like wings with material floating out of the top. Really, people? This shouldn't be this hard!

Lindsey was having fun checking out the bras -- some of the ones I tried on even had little pockets where pouches of water had been placed to help "push up" your breasts, she found those fascinating. And seriously people, what size do you need to be before people STOP thinking your boobs need to look even bigger? She tried a bra on and strutted around pretending she had boobies. Eventually she entertained herself with pretending to sleep on the chaise lounge just outside the fitting rooms.

I ended up with the original style that I had tried on, which I had to go get myself. Cost, you ask?

$42, or a full 44% more than the dress cost.

At least I'll be wearing the bra more than once, which is more than I can say for the dress.

Next shopping adventure: shoes to match. Aarrrgh!