Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Two Points of View: 4th of July Parade

Monday morning the girls and I took in the Edina 4th of July parade while Wayne ran the Red White & Boom half-marathon. I spent half the parade watching my girls watch the parade, which was, of course, just about as entertaining. I thought I would try to re-enact here in an abbreviated way the points of the parade that we commented on, at least in our heads if not aloud.

Kids: Mom, is that an old-fashioned car? Did they have those around when you were a little girl? Did you have to out-run dinosaurs in it?

Me: Wow, class of 1951 is having their 60th reunion. That's amazing. I hope I make it to my 60th reunion.

Kids: Look at the horsies! They have gold glitter on their toenails. How do they put that on?

Me: Please don't poop in front of us, please don't poop in front of us...(more on this later)

Kids: That gun is scary! Are they going to shoot us?

Me: Look at that veteran in uniform waving at us. I am so thankful that men and women like him have served our country. [clap clap clap wave wave wave]

Kids: Look at the super heroes! Wow, are they going to use their super powers on us? What can they do? Maybe the girl in green can kick people with her boots.

Me: I'm glad that supergirl doesn't have a muffin top this year like the one did last year. That was awkward to explain.

Kids: Laura Ingalls Wilder! Laura Ingalls Wilder!

Me: Laura Ingalls Wilder! Laura Ingalls Wilder!

Back to the horse:

Near the end of the parade the mounted police went by and a few of the horses decided that the spot right in front of us was the place to poop. They went a few more feet and then one decided it had to piss like a racehorse. And now I know where that saying comes from: that's a lotta pee. So much so that it gained momentum and started heading toward the curb on the other side of the street. Spectators sitting on the curb with their feet in the street leaped up and had to find new places to sit.

One older gentleman was sitting in a wooden chair on the street and was looking the opposite direction as the ominous river made its way toward his feet. Finally a kid next to him warned him and he managed to get himself and his chair out of the way just before the river reached him.

The best part was the rider's reaction: As his horse was relieving himself he shook his head resignedly and appeared to take some good-natured ribbing from his cohorts.

I am 90% sure that that's the most memorable part of the parade for my kids.

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